The Top Five Things Fat People Hate (and by "Fat People" I mean Me).

This is actually a blog I wrote last year, but, it recently got voted as one of the best blogs on MyFitnessPal.com - so I thought I might share it here as well. I hope you enjoy the read. :) - Lindsy

It's just after lunchtime, and I find myself avoiding writing an English Comp paper that is due TOMORROW. For some reason, I got to thinking about the things that I HATE as a fat girl.

1. Skinny people who complain about their weight. Are you frigging serious? You look like you could fall through a crack in the sidewalk at any moment, or that you'd blow away if a kid on a tricycle passed you by. It makes me irate to hear my skinny friends b*tch about how flabby they are, or how much cellulite they have. Please. Until your muffintop/saddlebags need their own pant leg in your jeans, do not moan to me about how awful you look. I'd give my left arm to be as thin as you, to eat those french fries and not feel like tossing myself off a bridge, but then I would just be a fat girl with one arm.

2. Restaurants. For me, as a fat girl, walking into a restaurant is probably comparable to a meth-head walking down the bleach aisle at Walmart. The possibilities are Endless! Then you sit in the booth and right away you realise that this is just not a good place to be. Whoever made the booth CLEARLY did not see me trying to squeeze myself into it. If you are lucky enough to not be seated in a booth, you still aren't out of the woods. Next comes the waiter, who is usually an obnoxiously skinny/perky person - who most likely does NOT ever eat a meal at this fine establishment. After ordering a water, turning down all the mixed drinks and the specials, you flip to the "Light and Healthy" area of the menu - only to be slapped in the face by the cold reality that your endless possibilities has just turned into a salad, or a soggy piece of fish. Appetizing. All of this is compounded by the fact that you normally go to a restaurant with the above mentioned skinny friends, who order and devour the 8968 calorie platter, and then proceed to moan about how fat they are. Excuse me while I slam my forehead into my desk.

3. Clothes Shopping. Why is it that I think, somewhere out there, hidden on a department store rack, is a magical piece of cotton (preferably a cotton/spandex blend...) that is going to transform me into a Disney Princess when I manage to wrestle it over my head? Stop laughing. This is serious! Every time I go out clothes shopping it ends in tears. Either my tears, or the tears of the exhausted employee who just found my pile of "this might fit me in a few months" clothes that I was too dejected to put back on the rack. And, I swear to God - these department stores use fun house mirrors. Something will look relatively good on me when I try it on in the store, but, when I get it home and look in the bathroom mirror, its like somehow the garment shrunk four sizes in my trunk! Usually I'll stand in the mirror for a few moments resembling a horrified Polish sausage, and then the item will go back on the hanger, to be shoved to the back of my closet where all of my "this might fit me in a few months" clothes have been hiding for the better part of three years.

4. The Gym. No, I don't hate the gym because I don't want to work out. On the contrary, I love to work out. What I hate about the gym (other then the outrageous amount of money you pay) is the dirty looks I get as a big girl. I can hear the dirty looks as clear as if the people giving them were broadcasting it in a mega phone. I'm at the gym because I want to lose the weight you douchebags! The comments about how big girls shouldn't take cycling classes since you have to look at the big asses, and about how big girls shouldn't take the hip-hop dance classes since "who are they going to dance with anyways" are completely unnecessary. Heaven forbid I get all hot, sweaty, and red-faced while working out. That just proves that I don't belong there, right? In Lindsy's World, skinny people would have to stay at home to work out, so that those of us who NEED to go to the gym could work out and not feel judged! Of course, former fatties would be welcomed- since they've been there, done that!

5. Fad Diets and other weight loss gimmicks. These snake oil peddlers are pretty much heartless. They know that I am desperate to wake up tomorrow morning looking like Jillian Michaels, without having to do any of the work and sacrifice to get there. They also know that we are willing to shell out millions of dollars every year to find that "miracle pill". Are you tired of being fat? Yeah. Do you want to lose 20, 50, 100 pounds or more? Yeah. Then suck it up, and put your big girl panties on. The only way is the hard way. Go right ahead and do one of these fad diets, or starve yourself only your 354 calorie a day plan that you paid $800 dollars for. And the second you come off that diet, you will put every single ounce, and then some right back on. No, you cannot eat Deep Dish Pizza six times a day and lose weight. Well, maybe you could if you invested in the tapeworm diet... "No sacrifice, No Victory!" Forgive me, my son has been watching Transformers every day in the car... Oops, my nerd is showing.

Vote this up if you agree, and feel free to add your own top thing that you hate as a fellow MFPer/weight loss supporter. There is nothing on the Earth worth having that you do not have to put effort into getting.
-Lindsy