Just say NO to resolutions!!

Happy New Year!  

It’s that time of year again where tons of people with great intentions list out their resolutions for the new year.  I mostly think of it as the time of year when all the “resolutioners” make the gym parking lot too crowded to find a spot to park.  Like clockwork--almost as quickly as they appeared--they are gone again around Valentine’s Day.  While I’m glad to not have to drive around the lot five times in search of a parking spot (I’m notoriously running late for everything), I can’t help to feel a little sad that a whole lot of people with great intentions already gave up on getting healthier.

The resolution in itself is a problem.  There's a whole lot of lofty aspirations caught up in the excitement and clean slate of the new year.  I think resolutions are setting someone up for failure before the year even begins. Resolutions tend to be all or nothing.  Either you did it or you didn’t.  Pass or fail. 

Instead of resolutions, set goals. A goal is a place you are aiming for.  If you don’t make it, you didn’t fail, because you are still aiming in that direction.  Refocus and keep going. 

Here are several reasons that resolutions don’t work:

(1)    The resolution is too general.  So many people just say they want to be healthy.  Why not?  It's a good resolution.  It's something no one would say you shouldn't do.  Where everyone comes up short is that they want to be healthy, but never define what healthy means or looks like to them.  It's this great, grand, feel-good idea, but do you ever think about what you really mean?  Define it—how are you going to get healthier?  Is your goal to lose weight, eat a vegetable with every meal, run a 5K?  Just make sure it is something real and something attainable.  

(2)    The resolution is too big and overwhelming.  If your resolution is to lose 80 pounds and get back to the size you were when you graduated high school, you are going to get overwhelmed.  It will seem insurmountable and you will be discouraged A LOT.  Is the weight realistic?  Is it realistic to think you will put in the amount of work it takes to lose more than one pound a week for a year?  How about setting your first goal to lose 10 pounds, and then go on from there.  When you reach that goal, you will be fired up for the next step, instead of feeling discouraged that you still have 70 pounds left.  Won't that be great when you have to set a higher goal during the year?  Make your goals small and your lifestyle changes small as well.  You didn't develop bad habits overnight, you are not going to change them overnight either. Whatever your goal is, chunk it down in smaller bits and tackle each one separately.  This way you will get to accomplish several mini-goals.  No better way to keep your motivation up than actually accomplishing something.

(3)    The resolution is unrealistic.  Your resolution is to go to the gym five days a week, two hours each time.  Examine the amount of time that you have to put toward your health and then make it realistic, especially if you are not already going to the gym regularly.  Start small and work up to more.  Maybe your original goal could be to make it to the gym three times a week for the first month regardless of how much time you spend there.  Get through the front door!  The rest will come eventually.  Reevaluate your time and energy after the gym has become a habit, and then figure out if you can do more.  

(4)    The resolution is too strict.  To say you are going to never eat fast food or ice cream ever again is a little harsh.  How sad would the world be that you can’t ever have your favorite indulgence ever again?  Be kind to yourself, and help yourself succeed by limiting instead of eliminating.  Do you eat too much fast food?  Your new goal can be to limit fast food (or whatever your sin of choice is) to special occasions or once a month.  Anything in moderation is okay.  It just has to fit in to your overall plan.  If you indulge here, you just know that you have to make up for it somewhere else.  You have to get to the gym an extra session or eat light the next day.  Whatever you choose to do, give yourself some leeway so you don’t feel frustrated or even mourn the thing you cannot have.  Don’t do that to yourself.  Life is too short to not enjoy the good stuff—even though it might be the bad stuff.

(5)  The resolution is considered a temporary thing.  Have you ever thought, "if I just workout and eat right for a few months, I'll get where I need to be and things can go back to 'normal'"?  Unfortunately, that's not how it works.   Why do we think returning to our old ways won't lead us right back to the same place?  Do you know Einstein's definition of insanity:  doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.  Not going to happen.  As cliche as the phrase has become, it has to be a lifestyle change.  Make small changes that you can sustain, and then make them your new normal.  Then see if there's something else you want to change.

(6)    You have no plan.  This is a big one.  There’s a saying, “when you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.  There is no truer sentiment when it comes to resolutions.  You can’t just set up your goals with no game plan to achieve them.  You NEED a concrete plan including ways to evaluate your progress.  If you are going to workout three days a week:  When, where and with who?  If you are going to eat healthier three dinners a week:  What constitutes healthy?  What nights work best?  When will you plan dinners and shop for groceries?  If you are going to lose 10 pounds:  When will you work out?  How are you tracking calories in/out?  What changes will you make to your current routine?  Whatever your goal is, have a plan to achieve it.  Without a plan, you will not change or you will return to the same ways that got you making these goals in the first place.  You also need a "Plan B"--when things inevitably don't work out like you imagined.  If you get an injury, you will have to change the way you exercise.  All is not lost.  Your plan may have to change, but the goal is still the same.

So many well meaning people set themselves up for failure each year.  Does it sound familiar?  Is this you?  Have you given up on resolutions all together because they just make you feel like a failure?  Don't give up on yourself!

If you've targeted something that bothers you enough that you want to change it, do it!  Pick an attainable goal or two and develop a plan to get you there.  Also, make sure you have an accountability partner.  This is important.  You have to tell someone your plan and have them check in on you regularly.  If you really, truly want to succeed, you have to own up to it.  It won't be easy, but as time goes on, it will get easier. 

Remember, this doesn’t have to be a “new year” thing.  You should be setting goals for yourself year round whether they are about health or something else entirely.  You should always be aiming for something…or you just might hit someone with a stray bullet or shoot yourself in the foot. 

Good luck to all of you in the new year!  Happy 2012!